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    HE MUST

     

    When I found myself to be a single mother of five after my divorce in 1995, I had to ask myself questions: would I ever remarry another man? Is it right to remarry? Remarriage is a questionable subject among Christian circles and I have been warned against the idea. Nevertheless! I knew at that time that if it were ever God’s will for me to remarry, it would be a miracle anyway. After all, I would not expect many “suiters” to “come a-callin” for a lady in a wheelchair with five children, 18 years old and under!

     

    So I had a conversation with the Lord: “Lord, I’m not sure if remarriage is ever going to be your plan for me so let’s make it easy on me, and difficult for You! (Because “nothing is too difficult for Thee”) I will serve You as a single mother the rest of my days unless you send me a man who meets my standard. I’m raising the standard to impossible heights! If you want me to have a husband, Lord, he must meet these requirements:

    • He must be a church-going, Bible-loving, Holy-Spirit-filled, demon-fighting, Jesus-seeking, humbled, bond-servant-of-Christ, man of God.
    • He must be easy to get along with. I will not be with anyone who will make our life more difficult than it already is.
    • He must be a problem solver, someone who finds solutions, not more problems.
    • He must be someone my kids will like and find respectable, a good example for them.
    • He must be able to tolerate the 24-hour helpers in my home.
    • He must be someone my parents would approve of and love.
    • He must be able to tolerate…no, he must love my five children.
    • And finally He must be able to see me the way You do… He must value me spiritually, emotionally and intellectually. He must be able to overlook my physical limitations, my disability, my handicap and see me through rose-colored glasses. He must hardly even notice my wheelchair.
    • And as a bonus, He must be good looking and play chess.
    • And He must ask me to marry him!

    HaHa! If you send me a man like this…IF YOU CAN FIND a man like this, it will be a sign. It will be an unmistakable billboard from heaven that it is Your will that I marry him… IF he proposes!” That was a pretty secure contract, I thought. With that I figured I was going to be very single for the rest of my days. I won’t have to make a decision; it will be very obvious if the Lord intends me to remarry.

     

    Eight years later God sent Mark into my life. I wasn’t thinking about marriage and likewise Mark also attested that he was the farthest thing from a “husband-candidate” as he could be. But over a year and a half of time, I was in awe as supernatural things were happening. Our relationship began by playing chess but quickly progressed into the spiritual world. No woman can make a man become what Mark did. He was charming when we met but God did so much more. I actually just stood back and witnessed Mark experience spiritual metamorphosis by the Hand of God. Before my eyes, Mark was being reborn just like my Dad was in 1974. I had very little to do with Mark’s experience and yet I watched things happening that were very familiar to me. Mark actually offered his life to Jesus in private without me before I even told him how!! By the power of the Holy Spirit, Mark began to understand and hunger for The Bible. His interests in music, in reading, in conversation and his outlook were all being reformed. All I did was try to answer his questions because I knew what was happening; I just didn’t know how it was happening. Like anyone who is spiritually reborn, it was miraculous. As time passed I watched as Mark undoubtedly was being formed into everything I needed and everything God wanted him to be. Words cannot express the utter amazement and awe I felt; and not only mine but those around us too. My kids, my helpers in the house, my family, Mark’s kids, Mark’s friends and his family took notice; even Mark himself was in wonderment of what was happening, yet he was happier than he ever was before. Everyone around him was affected and even confused. Most of us enjoyed this new butterfly that Mark had become while some are still scratching their heads.

     

    Soon like magnets we were attracted on every level: physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. And as the Bible says in Proverbs 27, we were as “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another,” helping each other to learn and grow. By the power of the Holy Spirit, my wheelchair seems to have faded away in Mark’s eyes and he seems to value the things about me that cannot be seen. Truly, I am overwhelmed by the power of God and by His love for us. Nothing is impossible for Him. Absolutely no one could have compelled Mark to remarry any woman when I met him. Truly it was God who gave him that desire. It’s safe to say Mark fits the billboard I was looking for with flashing lights, whistles and bells. And I knew that only God could have nudged Mark to propose. How could I say anything but “yes?” Looking at the fruit that has been blossoming from our relationship in ourselves and our children, we feel God’s blessing is upon us.

     

    May the Lord continue to bless us with rose-colored glasses for the rest of our lives together, as long as we both shall live.